One of the pleasures of getting older is having grandchildren. However, not all new grandparents are aware that there are plenty of DO's and DON'T's that should be observed if they want to claim the title of "Super Grandparent".

We've polled a number of people we feel are good grandparents, to get their ideas. Out of hundreds of suggestions, here are the top 10 Rules:

DO:

1. Check first with the parents about possible areas where what you are planning may conflict with what they'd like - remember, they are the primary, and you're just a back-up.
2. Offer to be available in the early months after a new arrival, to give the parents some respite. Think of ways you can make their days (and nights) a little easier.
3. Remember that 'doing' is better than 'having' - give the grandchildren fun things to do, rather than going to the mall and buying them something.
4. Try to find unusual things to do, something that will stick in their memory.
5. Give each grandchild a little separate one-on-one time. Be a good listener (but forget a lot of what you've heard). Maybe do something special with just one grandchild. But don't play favorites.
6. Read to them - all children love being read to, at just about any age.
7. Remember birthdays, holidays etc. with a card and a gift. If you aren't sure, money is always acceptable. If sending money to several children of different ages, you should probably pro-rate the amount according to age.
8. Offer different, healthy foods and snacks (e.g. fruit, low-fat) - oftentimes, parents don't have time for much more than fast food. Sometimes the children will try, and even enjoy, something new.
9. Show that there are alternatives to TV (which is commonly used as a baby-sitter by harassed parents). Board games and card games can still be fun!
10. Remember that there are usually four grandparents. There's no need to set up any rivalry over gifts, or competition for visiting rights.

DON'T:

1. Give advice to the parents, unless it's requested. (Sometimes this request is disguised - "Was I like this as a child?" really asking how you solved a problem.)
2. Become 'GrandMa No'. Provide minimal or no disciplining. In general, defer to the parents in matters of discipline. However, when you're left in charge, make it clear that you expect good behavior and you won't tolerate anything else. If bad behavior surfaces, treat the problem quickly and unemotionally, without over-reacting.

Of course, every family is unique, and different circumstances call for different behavior. But the common factor is lots of love and affection.